The 4 C's of good parenting

Parenting is hard work and I don’t think we fully understand this statement until the day we actually have a child.

As parents we are entrusted with little lives that present both challenges and rewards. It is by far the hardest responsibility you will ever have.
Effective parenting consists of a few simple things, which can be broken down into the following categories:
  • Choices
    When we make our own choices we feel a sense of control. As parents we are so busy making choices for our children that we forget how important it is for them to develop a sense of autonomy.
 When we empower our children to make their own choices we often find that they are much happier.
  • Consistency
    I have found that being consistent as a parent is one of the hardest things. It’s something I have had to work very hard at. Consistency in discipline, especially, is one of the main ways a child learns how to pre-empt what is about to happen. For every action there is a consequence. It is also important to be consistent when it comes to setting a routine for your child, sometimes making changes can take a few days and other times weeks (even months).
What I have found is that, at times, we give up too quickly, setting the wrong example for our children. Remember you cannot be consistent some of the time. Consistency and patience go hand in hand.
  • Consequences
    Consequences, as I said above, are the result of an action. It’s important that your child learns this from an early age, but this doesn’t always have to be negative. Consequences are outcomes that can also be positive. When we empower our children to make choices, they learn about consequences and most times the good consequences far outweigh the bad ones.
It should be used as a teaching method and not a punishment, or shaming of your child. And when there are negative consequence to a choice, relay this with empathy and allow your child to understand what they did wrong. This will help calm the situation.
  • Care
    Everything you do as a parent should stem from love. We parent the way we do because we care, implement rules and discipline because we care. Every child needs to know and feel this. Personally we struggled with this when we had our eldest son, because our parenting styles are different. But we are working on it. I always want to come from a place of love and understanding which is how my parents raised me. My husband, on the other hand, comes from a discipline-driven family and, at times, could come across as being too hard.
In moments of conflict it’s always important to emphasize that your response or reaction comes from a place of love.
Sometimes all we need is a quick reminder to get back on the right track.

Which of the these 4 Cs do you struggle with most?

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